Let ‘er go

Warning – this shit’s about to get cheesy.

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I want this blog to be about being positive and grabbing life by the balls.

I also want to clarify something right off the bat. As much as I will focus on all sorts of sappy things like being positive, I strongly believe that it’s just as important to be sad as hell sometimes.

There is a big difference between being postive and being cheerful all the time. As an introvert (and let’s be honest, as a human), I fully understand that it can be exhausting trying to be happy and smiley all the time, especially around other people.

And shit happens. Sometimes, absolutely terrible stuff happens. We can’t always be loving and strong and full of energy. Sometimes, we just gotta let ourselves cry, rage, curl up in a blanket and sleep all day, or whatever we need to do.

Sometimes, it’s not even because anything bad has happened. Sometimes, we just need to fold into ourselves and block out the rest of the world for a while. Maybe we have a bit of pent up crankiness or rantiness to get out of our systems.

I used to think there was a certain beauty in sadness. I feel a little differenty now that I’m not a slightly melodramatic, poetry-writing teenager, but that idea has helped me accept my own feelings. It means that even now, I can embrace pain and difficult feelings. I can just ride them out. It sucks a whole lot sometimes. It seems like the worst thing in the world. Yet pushing it away doesn’t work, and doesn’t help. It’s necessary sometimes to feel sadness and pain as fully as we do happiness and joy, and to share those feelings even as we do with other emotions.

Of course, we have to be careful that we don’t hurt or push away those we love the most while we are in those darker places. Knowing that they will still be there when I come around, I’ve had to work hard to learn not to lash out when I’m feeling awful. It’s still a work in progress. There’s a surprisingly fine line between sharing feelings and taking those feelings out on someone – but it is doable. I try to say things like “I’m just having a bit of a ‘sad day’ today and I need some space.” If someone ever says this to you, as long as it’s not a regular thing, please don’t pester them about it. There’s nothing more irritating than having someone go “Yeah but what’s wrroooonnggggg??” over and over again.

The thing to remember is that those feelings are only temporary. As long as we know that we are allowing ourselves a moment, and don’t get stuck that way, we are alright. If ever you feel like you can’t pull yourself out of sadness, it could be depression. And that’s not something that general positivity can cure. It might be a sign that you need professional help – at the very least you need to change something if that happens. Allowing ourselves to admit when we can’t do it on our own is an important part of achieving ‘overall’ hapiness.

I will tell you one of my darkest secrets. I once read “The Power“, sequel to “The Secret” when I was really depressed. It was cheesy as shit, and I don’t really want to promote these books because I don’t agree with everything they say, but I can’t lie; that frigging book did help me. Its silly suggestions like writing “thank you” on bills seemed like over-the-top nonsense, someone on par with throwing pickes at the wall, but I did it anyway because I was desperate. And it worked. I believe it worked because it was training my brain to be positive whether I liked it or not.

In my defense, I didn’t read the whole thing.

Trying new things is part of finding the way back, pushing our limits, stretching our brains. It’s about finding a way to be keep going no matter what, knowing that the sun will shine after the rain, whether we are ready for it or not.

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